Break My Fall (Swoon Series Book 3) Read online

  With his eyes on me, I felt as if I were the only woman in the world at that moment. It felt as if we were in the middle of nowhere all by ourselves, so intent was his attention.

  “You were saying?” he prompted before pausing to take a sip of his coffee.

  I sighed. So much for avoidance. “I didn’t say anything. But, face it, you like your women beautiful and casual. I’m neither.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Evie, that’s bullshit. You’re …”

  I shook my head, suddenly feeling rather fierce about clarifying. “For starters, we work together. It’s a bad idea to get tangled up. We’re practically neighbors. And …” I had to pause for another sip of coffee. “I don’t really do the casual thing like you.”

  For a flash, I thought I might’ve seen a hint of pain in his gaze, but it disappeared as quickly as I must’ve imagined it. He stayed quiet for a few beats, and then said, “That kiss was the hottest kiss I’ve ever had. And it was just a kiss. Plus, I don’t just want something casual with you.”

  When my mouth fell open, his lips curled in a rueful smile. “I get it. Let me take you to dinner.”

  I almost choked on my coffee—again!—and glared at him when he started to laugh. “What?” I finally managed to sputter.

  “Just what I said. Let me take you out to dinner.”

  Staring into his silvery-gray eyes, I gave my head a little shake. “Dawson, that’s crazy. Did you hear my point about us working together?”

  He was quiet, the teasing gleam fading from his eyes. His shoulders rose and fell with a breath, and he shrugged. “That part’s not a big deal. I’m not your boss, and you’re just trying to find an excuse. I didn’t think it was that crazy, but obviously, you disagree.”

  I sensed I had actually hurt Dawson’s feelings, but I was floundering inside and thrown off balance. When I opened my mouth to say something, though I didn’t know what I was going to say, his phone chirped loudly.

  Slipping it out of the pocket of his jeans, he glanced at the screen. As he looked back at me, his mouth kicked into a wry smile. “Saved by the bell. I gotta take this. We have a call.”

  Standing with his coffee in hand, he looked down at me once more, his gaze considering. Whatever he meant to say, it appeared he thought better of it. “Catch you later,” he said as he turned away, pausing briefly at the counter to pay before striding out.

  My eyes tracked him as he left. He moved with a lithe grace, his muscled form rangy and powerful. Of course, I couldn’t help but linger for a moment on his fine ass. Dear God. He just had to go and make jeans look awesome.

  I wasn’t entirely conscious of just how hard I stared until Grace’s voice broke through. “Well, gee, make sure you get a good enough look.”

  My cheeks were hot as I jerked my eyes away from him when he reached the door. Looking up at Grace, I shrugged. “You have to admit he’s got a nice ass.”

  Grace laughed as she slipped into the chair across from me, occupying the seat Dawson left behind. “I will admit Dawson has a nice ass. I didn’t know you were so interested in it, though. What were you two talking about anyway? Dawson looked kind of serious.”

  Grace was my best friend, and before my twin sister died, she’d been close to both of us. She’d been there at a time when I didn’t feel like I had many friends after Krista died.

  I met her eyes and shrugged. “I think I’ve entered an alternate universe. He just asked me out to dinner.”

  “What?” Grace asked, her eyebrows hitching up so high they almost hit her hairline.

  “Exactly what I said. I guess I should fill in a few blanks. He kissed me the other night, and then once before that.”

  “You have so been holding out on me,” she said, leaning back in her chair and taking a long sip of her coffee. Circling her hand in the air, she arched a brow, clearly expecting me to continue.

  “Grace, I don’t have any idea what to say. Here’s what happened. Remember the fundraiser thing at Lost Deer Winery last week?” At her nod, I continued, “Well, he gave me a ride home after I got wine all over my dress. Which, by some miracle, Dani got out. Anyway, when he was helping me out of the truck, he kissed me. It was just a barely there thing, but it definitely was a kiss. I was totally freaked out and pretty much ran away from him. Then, the other night, I went up to that rock, and he was there. It’s kind of weird. For once, he wasn’t just giving me crap, and then he kissed me, like really kissed me.”

  My cheeks got hot all over again just thinking about it.

  Grace was quiet, her eyes a little wide. “Well, based on the look on your face, I’m guessing it was a good kiss.”

  “Not my point.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m serious. I don’t know what to think of any of this. A little advice would be helpful.”

  Grace sobered. “I don’t know what to say. It was always obvious to me he had a thing for you. Did y’all plan this coffee date?”

  Shaking my head, I took a sip of my coffee before replying. “No. I was already here, and then he showed up.”

  “And said he wanted to take you to dinner?” she prompted.

  “Uh-huh.”

  “What did you say?”

  “I told him it was crazy. To make it even crazier, I’m pretty sure I hurt his feelings. Then he got a call for the first responder team and said he had to go,” I explained, gesturing to the door.

  Grace picked up a fork, flipping it back and forth between her fingers. “Maybe he really likes you. I would imagine playing the field would get old eventually, even for him.”

  “That’s the thing. I can’t do that. It will be a mess.”

  She shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not. With the way you were staring at his ass, my guess is you might want to see how things play out. Or just tell him that it needs to be … Oh, I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about,” she said with a sigh.

  “Thanks for the advice,” I offered.

  Grace chewed on the inside of her cheek. “Sorry I’m not more help. I don’t really know what to tell you. Dawson is totally cute, and it’s obvious you two kind of have a buzz.”

  “A buzz? What do you mean?”

  “Okay, Dawson teases everyone, like everyone. But it’s different with you, and the way you react is different. That’s all I’m saying. I guess you should just think about what you want. If anything. You did complain you haven’t had sex in forever,” she said, a sly grin stretching across her face. “According to the rumors, Dawson is, uh, magic in bed.”

  “See!” I threw my hands up in the air in exasperation. “That’s why I can’t be added to his list.”

  “List?”

  “The only reason you hear rumors about what he’s like in bed is because he’s busy.”

  Grace rolled her eyes. “What’s wrong with good sex? I could use some too. Don’t go thinking I want it with Dawson because I don’t. Since you do, maybe you should do something about it,” she said with a giggle.

  I glared at her.

  Her smile faded. “Seriously, though, maybe Dawson does like no-strings sex, and there’s nothing wrong with that. He’s not an asshole about it, and he doesn’t play people against each other, which is a lot more than I can say for others.”

  “I know. John was such a dick to you. I’m glad you’re over him,” I said, referencing a guy she dated over a year ago. She found out he wasn’t exclusive although he’d led her to think he was and then tried to make her jealous with a now-former friend from college.

  “Oh, I most definitely am, but it still totally sucked.”

  “The right guy will come along. I just know it.”

  I opened my mouth to say something, and Grace shook her head. “Don’t.”

  “Grace, I wasn’t going to tease.”

  “I know. It’s just that’s the past, and it needs to stay in the past.”

  “Okay, fine.”

  Although we weren’t speaking his name, we were referring to Grace’s high school boyfriend. Boone Reeves had moved back to town a few months ago and taken a position with Stolen Hearts Valley Emergency Response. While he wasn’t working at the lodge, his connections with too many shared friends who did was too close for comfort for Grace. I had teased her a little at first, unaware of how thoroughly he had broken her heart. I wasn’t that shitty of a best friend, but Grace hadn’t given me all the details of what happened when she’d been away at college.

  After glancing at my watch, I looked back at her. “Thanks for listening, even if you don’t know what to tell me about Dawson.”

  Grace grinned. “Always. What time is your shift today?”

  “In a half hour. I should get going. You headed back?”

  “Not yet. I need to take care of a few errands. Need anything from the grocery store?”

  “I don’t think so. Oh wait, get me some coffee, would you?”

  “Sure thing. I’ll drop it off at your cabin this afternoon.”

  I departed Wake & Bake Café with a wave to Nancy behind the counter. Once I got to work in the lodge restaurant, my morning was busy, yet Dawson was never far from my thoughts. If only I knew what the hell to do about him and those kisses.

  Chapter Six

  Dawson

  “You three are first up in the rotation for training with naloxone,” Nick Hudson explained. “I’m starting with y’all because you happen to be the ones who responded to the last overdose. I know it’s been weighing on you, but the guy’s going to be okay, and that’s all that matters.”

  I leaned back in my chair at the round table where I was seated with Jackson, Wade, and Nick, who was the administrative supervisor for Stolen Hearts Valley Emergency Response. My chest tightened, and cold tension balled in my gut.

  Nick was referring to the emergency injections to administer wh
en people accidentally, or not, overdosed on the opiates that were the scourge of society these days. I’d been a first responder for over a decade now. Not much got to me, so I hated how much that one fucking call needled me. I kept seeing that guy’s blue face and the pills strewn on the floor beside him. Like a record jumping tracks, my mind immediately skipped back to another night. One I wished I could erase completely from my memory.

  “That okay, Dawson?” Nick asked.

  “I zoned out. Sorry about that. What time did you say?”

  “It’s scheduled in two days.”

  “That’ll work.”

  Jackson interjected. “We can rearrange work around the lodge if anything conflicts with it.”

  Nick lifted his chin and nodded. “Thanks.” Glancing at the clock, he added, “I’ve got another meeting, so I’ll catch you guys at next week’s team meeting.”

  Wade, Jackson, and I stood together and filed out, calling our goodbyes on the way out. Wade had to hurry off, but Jackson leaned against my truck, aiming his way too perceptive gaze on me. “How you doing?”

  I took a breath, not getting much air. “Just fine. Why are you asking now?”

  “Because you’ve been cranky as hell the past three weeks. Let me clarify. You haven’t been your usual jokester self, which translates to cranky. I know that call got to you. It got to me too.”

  If only Jackson knew.

  Fuck it. Jackson was a good friend, so I might as well tell him. He’d also been through his own share of hell in the military.

  “Look, man, I don’t talk about my family much, but that was exactly how my dad died. My dad’s a fucking asshole, or he was. I don’t miss him, but that shit scares me.” My chest tightened, and I had to pause and take a breath. “He was an asshole, and my mom used to tell me all the time he was self-medicating with his poison of choice at the time. I’m pretty sure I’m not an asshole, but sometimes, things aren’t that easy.”

  Jackson was quiet for several long moments before he bounced his heel against the gravel. “Yeah, that shit scares me too. You’re right that you don’t talk much about your family. Just enough that I filled in a few blanks on my own. I get it. You know I don’t talk much about my own baggage, but I’ve seen some bad shit go down. You’ve got the one thing that’ll get you through with whatever this is. If you want to talk, I’m here. Even if you don’t, I just want you to know I’m here.”

  I stared at him intently, this time managing to get a decent amount of air in my lungs when I took a breath. “What’s that one thing you’re talking about?”

  “You’re aware. That’s what matters. Or at least that’s what the therapist the military made me see for months told me.” Jackson sighed. “Look, she actually helped, so for what it’s worth, if you ever—” His words stopped when I shook my head.

  “Been there, done that, man. And you’re right, some of them help. When I was a kid, we had child protection cycling in and out of our house. My dad drank hardcore. If he’d stuck to that, he’d probably still be alive today. It was the pills that killed him. My mom … well, she tried, she did, but she couldn’t protect us from him. Hell, he beat on her more than us.”

  Jackson nodded slowly, his gaze steady. That was the thing about Jackson. He didn’t push. He was damn perceptive though, and sometimes, that got under my skin. “As I said, I’m here if you need to talk.”

  “Thanks, man,” I said because that was really all I could handle for now.

  He pushed away from my truck. “See you back at the lodge.”

  He was giving me my space, and I knew he knew I needed it.

  “Jackson,” I called.

  The crunch of his boots on the gravel stopped, and he turned to look back at me. “I needed that, so thanks.”

  Leaning against the bar at Lost Deer, I took a sip of water. Because the flat truth was I didn’t even care to have a beer. Rehashing the call from a few weeks ago had shaken me.

  I was losing interest in even escaping. Oddly, I wasn’t afraid of the darkness that fell over me occasionally. I’d learned it was something I needed to let wash over me, and I would get through to the other side. I wasn’t my father.

  Delilah paused in front of me as she set clean glasses in a rack behind the bar. “You doing okay, Dawson?”

  “Right as rain, Delilah.”

  “Not even a beer?”

  “Nah. I’m good with this,” I replied, lifting my water glass.

  “Not even a girl?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Not even a girl, Delilah.”

  I wasn’t going to admit I had come out tonight hoping to shake myself loose from this mental fixation on Evie. No such fucking luck.

  Don’t get me wrong, my body was spun tight and tangled because I was apparently going to become celibate. But no one drew my interest beyond an objective appreciation.

  I was in dire straits, especially if Evie continued to shut me out. Intellectually, I understood her hesitation. Hell, I hadn’t done a damn thing but play the field since I’d known her. I was fucking determined to shift gears, but I was restless and irritated I couldn’t find an outlet in any other way.

  Delilah’s attention was drawn away by another customer. I slid my empty glass to the edge of the bar and turned to leave. Stepping out into the cool night, I took a breath and leaned my head back to look at the stars. Glimmers of light scattered across the black canvas. The moon hung low over the mountains in the distance.

  On the heels of another breath, I looked ahead, striding toward my truck. A short drive later, I was walking the path through the trees behind the lodge. I heard the sound of footsteps and glanced ahead. Evie.

  I knew it was Evie primarily by my body’s reaction. My heart kicked against my ribs, and a familiar electricity hummed to life inside.

  As if she could sense my eyes on her, she stopped on the path and looked back. Lights along the ground cast a soft glow in the trees. There was just enough illumination for me to see the curve of her hip and the subtle gleam on her dark hair.

  She waited until I reached her. My annoyance with losing all interest in anyone else slipped away. The way my body sparked to life the moment I saw her only served to reinforce just how bad I had it for her.

  I wished I could understand why this fire had flared up so powerfully. I’d known Evie for two years, and up until a few weeks ago, my interest in her had maybe a bit more kick to it than usual, but it had been nothing like this. It was as if now that a bit of fuel had been added, it was raging out of control.

  “Hey, Evie,” I drawled, the sound of the leaves rustling under my feet quieting when I came to a stop in front of her.

  When her eyes met mine, for a flash, my breath left me. Fuck, she was beautiful. Her dark hair hung around her shoulders, and my eyes fell to her plump lips. When her lopsided smile unfurled, it was like a kick to my libido. Her scent drifted to me, wrapping around me like silken threads. Everything drew tight inside, and my cock throbbed.

  Here I was, thinking I could convince her it wasn’t just sex I wanted when, sweet Jesus, I wanted her. So badly.

  “Hey, Dawson,” she replied, her voice low with a rasp to it.

  Her voice alone tightened those silken threads, pulling me closer.

  I had to have her.

  I took a breath, keeping my gaze on her. I was speaking before I had cleared my words with my thoughts. “I want you.”

  Her breath came out in a little surprised puff. Her eyes widened, and a flush crested on her cheeks.

  Now that I’d gone and blurted that out, I decided to just go with it. “And I know you want me too.”

  The moment felt suspended and electric as I waited. I knew I saw the answering flare of desire in her eyes, and I could see the rapid flutter of her pulse in her neck.

  I absorbed the sight of her. She wore a skirt that hugged her hips and fell to her ankles in a twirl above a pair of leather cowboy boots. I wondered where she had been.

  I hoped like hell she hadn’t been on a date. That was certainly something I never wondered about any woman. Not in this way. That’s how off-kilter she had me. She elicited a combination of raw desire tangled up in an unfamiliar emotion.