Keep Me Close Read online

I swallowed. “That’s one way to put it. I'm supposed to have surgery, or I was.” He nodded. “But I'm putting it off until after the baby now. Endometriosis is when uterine tissue grows outside of the uterus. It can grow all over your organs nearby and mess up your fertility. It’s not that I'm infertile, but more that the endometriosis can interfere with things.”

  Chase studied me and nodded again, so I continued. “I also didn't pick up that I was pregnant a little earlier because, well, things have just been a mess for me for years. I always have weird symptoms and chronic pain and cramping. All of the things that come with pregnancy didn't set off any alarm bells because I rarely have my period either.” I took a quick breath. “Oh god, I feel like I just unloaded a bunch of information on you, and you probably didn't need to know any of it.”

  He shrugged. “It’s okay. You’re just explaining. Is it going to affect your pregnancy?”

  “Maybe? I don’t know. I've had this doctor for years, so she knows everything that's going on, and she's on top of it. Now that I'm past the first trimester, she says things look healthy.”

  “Do you know if it's a boy or girl yet?” he asked.

  I shook my head quickly. “I thought I'd wait to see if I could find you, and we could decide that together if you wanted to be part of this.”

  His eyes held mine, the brown darkening to espresso. My pulse kicked off, and I felt a little breathless. I broke away from his gaze, looking down at my hands. My fingers were laced together tightly, and I rubbed my thumb over a ring. When I dared to look up again, his eyes were waiting, steady and calm.

  “Look… obviously, this is all news to me,” he began.

  I laughed a little, an edge of hysteria bubbling over. “Yeah, yeah, it is.”

  “I don't want to push too hard, but I do want to be involved. I understand if you don't want me at appointments and things, but—”

  “It's okay,” I said hesitantly. “I guess I didn't know if I would find you. I didn't want this to be a secret.”

  “We'll just have to figure it out,” he said matter-of-factly. “So what happens at the next appointment?”

  “It's a checkup, and they'll do an ultrasound.”

  “When do they check for the baby’s gender if we want to know? Do you want to know?”

  “I don't know. Sometimes. What about you?”

  When Chase smiled, my belly felt all fluttery and tingly. “I don't know. I haven’t really had time to think about it.”

  Just then, the door to the office swung open, and the man entering came to an abrupt stop. “Oh, I didn't know you were in here.” The man with shaggy brown curls and piercing green eyes studied me for a moment before his gaze shifted to Chase.

  “Sorry, Cade,” Chase said as he stood. “This is Hallie.”

  I waved. “Hi.”

  “I’m Cade. Nice to meet you. How much longer do you need my office?” he asked, entirely unperturbed about our presence there.

  Chase glanced down at me, and I shrugged.

  “Why don't we go get some lunch?” he asked. “Mind if I leave?” He looked toward Cade.

  “Go for it,” Cade replied.

  “How does that sound to you?” Chase asked.

  I had been too nervous to eat earlier, so I was starving. “That sounds good.”

  When I stood, Chase stepped to my side, resting his hand on my lower back. The gesture felt protective, and I savored the feeling. Cade’s sharp gaze bounced between us, and I sensed he had questions, but he simply smiled. “Nice to meet you, Hallie. Hope to see you again.”

  “You too, thanks.”

  We stopped in the hallway, and Chase glanced down just as Cade closed the door behind us.

  “Why don't I drive? I'll bring you back to your car afterward.”

  “Sure.”

  He led me down the back hallway into an open area with a kitchen to one side and a counter running along the wall. Some guys I presumed were firefighters lounged at the kitchen table. They all looked at me curiously as Chase waved. We passed into an area that had a large sectional and a television with some guys working out in a gym behind a glass wall beyond that. Firefighters appeared to be a handsome, very fit lot.

  I eyed them to see if I had the same kind of reaction to any of these men that I did to Chase. I didn’t. There was no fiery zing. It was just him. Just as we reached the back door, Maisie came walking out of a doorway and stopped. She held a stack of paper in her arms. “Hi,” she said brightly as she glanced back and forth between us. “Everything okay?”

  Chase chuckled. “Everything's good. We're gonna go grab lunch.”

  “Okay, will you bring me some coffee if you're going to Firehouse Café?”

  “Sure thing,” he replied. “Your usual?”

  Maisie was nodding when someone else called out, “Coffee for me, please!”

  Chase cast a grin over his shoulder. “Tell Maisie any orders, and she can text a list to me. I'll bring them back.”

  Maisie smiled at me again. “Nice to meet you, Hallie.”

  I waved, wondering if I would see any of these people again.

  A few minutes later, Chase had led me into the café where I’d stopped for coffee the morning after our night together. “This is the old firehouse,” he explained when he saw me eyeing the pole painted brightly with fireweed flowers in the middle of the café.

  The cute and cheerful space had artwork on the walls and tables scattered throughout the room. The low hum of conversation reached us, and the scent of rich coffee and freshly baked goods filled the air.

  When we reached the front of the line, the woman at the counter cast a beaming smile. “Hey, Chase.”

  “Hey, Janet. This is Hallie.” He nudged his chin in my direction.

  “Nice to meet you, Hallie. I'm Janet. I own this place. Good to have you here.”

  I managed to say something polite while my mind spun. I was still adjusting to the fact of my pregnancy, and now it felt surreal that I’d actually found Chase. I supposed it wouldn’t have been all that hard, but with the situation, it felt monumental.

  Chase said to Janet, “So Maisie is going to text me with coffee orders for the station.” He lifted his phone to check the screen. “Nothing yet.”

  “Just forward me the text, and I’ll get everything ready,” Janet replied.

  Chase chuckled as he slipped his phone back into his pocket. “You got it. What do you want?”

  I looked up at the chalkboard. “Do you have any tea?” I asked Janet.

  “Of course, I have tea. I make a mean cup of coffee too,” she added.

  “I'm not drinking coffee right now,” I said quickly, realizing there were so many things I hadn’t gone over in my head about finding Chase and telling him I was pregnant. Namely, were we talking about it with other people?

  Janet simply reached under the counter and handed me a small chalkboard menu. “Teas are listed there.”

  “I'll take…” I scanned it and selected one.

  A few minutes later, we were sitting down. I blurted out, “How are we handling this? Who are we telling? None of these people know me. I’m planning to tell my parents and my brother soon.”

  Chase leaned back in his chair, a smile slowly stretching across his face. “This is definitely on the list of things I hadn't thought about today. I'm sorry.”

  “I know, I know.” My words rushed out. “This is a lot.”

  He shrugged easily. “It's okay. I can handle it.”

  We fell quiet, and I realized we hadn't talked much about ourselves during the single night we’d spent together.

  “So all I know about you is you live here, you're a firefighter, and now I know your last name.”

  His eyes crinkled at the corners, and his gaze was warm. “And I know your name is Hallie Thomas, and you’re a photographer. What kind of photography and where do you live?”

  “Black and white. I do artsy stuff. I've been showcased in a few galleries, but I also pay a lot of bills by doing assignments for places. And I live in Anchorage.”

  “What do you mean?” he prompted.

  “Location and feature photography, things like that. Alaska's good for it because of the touristy businesses. They want classy photos, and I make it happen.”

  “That makes sense. There's a gallery here in Willow Brook.”

  “I think I’ve heard of it.”

  “Midnight Sun Arts,” he added.

  “Oh, there’s a location in Anchorage and my sister-in-law manages the one in Diamond Creek.”

  Chase nodded. “My friend Jasmine Ward does pottery. She sells it at Midnight Sun Arts in Anchorage and down in Diamond Creek. She must know your sister-in-law in Diamond Creek. Jasmine manages the one here,” he explained.

  “Oh, that's really cool! I'll have to swing by. I've seen her work in the Anchorage gallery.”

  Chase nodded and took a swallow of his coffee. “So you have a brother and parents then?”

  I smiled, trying to ignore the nervousness spinning inside. “Yeah, my older brother lives in Diamond Creek. He's the police chief down there. My parents live in Anchorage.”

  “What about you?”

  Chapter Seven

  Chase

  Such a simple and entirely expected question. Considering I was talking to the woman I was going to have a child with, it was natural to ask about family.

  I had family, and I loved them, but things felt complicated lately. I bit back a sigh and glossed over the situation. “I grew up right here in Willow Brook. My father lives here, and I have a sister. She's not in Willow Brook now, but she’s planning to move back sometime. My mother passed away two years ago.”

  “Oh, I'm sorry,” Hallie said quickly.

  “Yeah, thanks.” I ignored the sharp twist o
f my heart and the familiar hollow feeling in my stomach. To say my relationship with my mother had been complicated didn’t accurately describe that shit show. I forged ahead. “Anyway, my dad's still here and doing well.”

  “That's nice. What does your father do?” she asked politely.

  “He’s an outdoor guide. He flies all over the state.”

  “That’s cool. Alaska is definitely the place to do that.”

  “He loves it.”

  “It’s kind of like your job since you must fly all over the state too.”

  She smiled, and I remembered I loved her smile. It was odd to see her again. I’d thought of her so many times in the past few months. I’d tried to convince myself the chemistry wouldn't snap and crackle like I'd recalled, and she wouldn't be as beautiful as I'd remembered. In a way, I suppose I’d tried to convince myself of that so I wouldn’t keep thinking I’d let a chance pass me by.

  I'd been wrong on both counts. She was more beautiful than I remembered with her glossy brown hair and chameleon-like hazel eyes. This sultry sweetness to her grabbed me like a fist around my heart. She set my nerves on fire. I belatedly realized I hadn’t replied to her comment.

  “I suppose, except I have to put out fires.”

  “There is that. Being a hotshot firefighter is kind of dangerous, isn't it?”

  I shrugged. “Yes, obviously. But we know how to handle it.”

  “Being a firefighter suits you.” She cocked her head to the side.

  “You know that from one night?”

  Her cheeks flushed pink. She pressed her lips together before pushing her glasses up on her nose. She’d been wearing glasses that night, and I loved them on her. “It’s just a feeling really. Plus, I'm seeing you now, so it's not just one night.”

  Just then, Janet arrived with our sandwiches. I knew she was curious. She set the two plates down, looking at us. “I hope you love your sandwich,” she said to Hallie.

  “I'm sure I will.”

  “Let me know if you need anything else,” Janet added.

  I chuckled as she walked away. “What's funny?” Hallie asked.

  “Janet. I love her dearly. I've known her since I was a kid. You can't grow up here without knowing Janet. I'm sure she's dying to know how I know you and what you're doing here. So what is the plan for how we talk about this?”

  “You can tell whoever you want,” Hallie said with a little shrug. “I'm already showing. I'm wearing a loose jacket, so it's not that obvious to anyone who doesn't know me.”

  “What about us?”

  “Us?” she chirped, her eyes going wide.

  “Yes. I wanted to see you again,” I said bluntly.

  Hallie cleared her throat and took a swallow of her tea. “I don't know. I wasn’t even sure how you’d feel about this. Chase, this is all—”

  “A lot,” I offered helpfully, repeating what she had said earlier.

  She nodded earnestly. “Yes. I'm having a baby. You're the father. We hardly know each other.”

  “I know. That one night was really incredible, but I get it. We'll take it one step at a time.” When she nodded and took a bite of her sandwich, I finally asked the questions that had been tumbling in my mind every time I thought about her. “What was that night about? Why did you say no last names, no phone numbers?”

  She finished chewing and shrugged. “I've never had a one-night stand except for you. That was the day I'd had a talk with my doctor, the one who's monitoring my pregnancy. I was planning to schedule a hysterectomy because of the chronic problems with my endometriosis.”

  “Seriously?”

  She nodded. “I've already had two surgeries to remove ovarian cysts due to endometriosis. Both times, they had to clean up a bunch of other tissue. I have chronic pain and damaged fallopian tubes. I’d decided that was the best option because it didn't look like I would ever get pregnant. Why keep going through so much pain? It's not like I was all about getting married and settling down, but I wanted the idea. I wanted the option of having kids, and it was a hit to make that decision. I just wanted to forget all my feelings. I saw you and decided one night was perfect.”

  “I appreciate your honesty,” I finally said as I tried to wrap my brain around all that information. “It’s kind of a miracle that you got pregnant,” I added after a few bites of my sandwich.

  She laughed softly. “Yeah, the odds were slim.”

  We ate quietly, and my mind spun. I was going to be a father, assuming everything went well for the next five months. Holy fucking shit.

  We finished eating and drove back to the station. I pulled into the front, asking, “That your car?” I gestured to the single car in the front parking lot.

  Hallie nodded. I parked beside her and glanced over. I moved without thinking, leaning across the console. I palmed her cheek, peering into her eyes. I recalled how they darkened as she came when I was buried deep inside her. Since I wasn't thinking, I wasn't sure what I expected, but she didn't draw away.

  We stared at each other quietly for several beats. I dipped my head, brushing my lips over hers. I didn't intend for this kiss to even happen, but before I knew it, it went from a dusting kiss to me fitting my mouth over hers. I slid my hand into her hair, sweeping my tongue in to glide against hers. She tasted just like I remembered—a little sweet. She sighed and kissed me back with abandon.

  I practically pulled her across the console before my elbow hit the horn, and the sound snapped through the moment. We broke apart, both of us gulping in air. When I looked back over at Hallie, her eyes were wide, and then she burst out laughing.

  “What?” I asked, my lips curling into a smile.

  “You are too much.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I forget everything when you kiss me.”

  Since she was being honest, I decided to offer the same. “Well, you do the same thing to me.”

  She took a deep breath, pressing her palm to her chest.

  “When can I see you again?” I asked.

  “My doctor's appointment is in two weeks.”

  “Can I see you before that?” I surprised myself with that question, but we had a lot of territory to cover. I also desperately wanted to see her before then.

  “Okaaa-y,” she replied slowly.

  “I'll drive to Anchorage, or you can come here. Whatever you prefer.”

  Her eyes searched mine before she nodded slowly. “Okay. Next weekend.”

  “I'll text you, and we can decide where to meet.”

  Chapter Eight

  Chase

  The following day, my phone rang. I glanced down to where it sat on the counter in my kitchen. I was sitting on a stool, lingering over a cup of coffee. It was my sister calling. Again.

  I answered, “Hey, Tiffany.”

  “Hey! I called you the other day, and you didn't call me back,” she said.

  “I know. I meant to. I’ve just been busy.”

  “That's what you always say. Are you okay?”

  “Tiff, I'm fine. It's fine.”

  My sister charged right at any problem or person she worried about. Of late, that was me.

  “Chase, you can't change the past. Dad and I are fine with it, and I want you to be at peace.”

  “With what?”

  “Mom’s dead, and she lied.”

  “Tiff, I know you want to fix this. You want to fix everything. I just…” I paused, scrubbing a hand in my hair. “Look, the whole situation sucks. That's all.”

  Roughly a year ago, we’d collectively learned that my mother had lied about who my father was. The man who’d been the only father I’d known and the father of my heart was not my biological father. My mother had never told any of us before she passed away. We’d only found out because my sister had us do DNA tests out of curiosity to find out if we had more family out there. At first, all I’d learned was Tiffany and I didn’t have the same father. I felt like my feet had been kicked out from under me. Mere weeks later, I received a message online from one of my half-siblings. I’d never know why my mother lied, and to make matters messier, I hadn't had a good relationship with her for most of my life.

  She’d been a lot to deal with. My dad and I had always been tight, and we still were. Ever since this little bomb had landed in our lives, he had assured me every which way that he loved me as his son and always would. My bio dad had died before I’d even known he existed.