This Crazy Love: Swoon Series Read online

  Shay was quiet as we followed the path through the trees. In a moment, two massive old barns came into view. They had been updated with bright blue steel roofing that stood out amidst the landscape. The old painted siding had been torn off and replaced with stained cedar.

  The barn further away was exclusively for lodge guests. The entire upstairs and downstairs had been transformed into guest suites, every room offering a view of the mountains surrounding the area.

  The closer barn had guestrooms upstairs, while the downstairs had been transformed into a restaurant with a large kitchen and area for staff. In the guest area, a large recreational room with a massive stone fireplace anchored the space with several areas for seating.

  I hadn’t called over to Dani, but I guessed she had already rounded up the staff. She would want everyone to make sure to meet Shay. I paused on the stone walkway leading to the main door of the barn. “Just a heads-up, but you’re probably going to be bombarded here. Sometimes it’s a bit scattered, but I’m guessing today Dani’s made sure everyone will be here.”

  Shay bit her lip, worrying it. I had to remind myself—yet again—not to let every little thing she did set my pulse to pounding. She was quiet, and I could practically see the thoughts tumbling through her mind. She took a small breath, that guarded look entering her eyes again.

  “How much does everyone know about why I ended up here?”

  I didn’t know what I had expected her to ask, but it wasn’t that. “Shay, I don’t even have all the details, but it was in the news. Remy called me and said you could use a place to stay, but I haven’t discussed it with anyone. I wouldn’t worry about what anyone might know. Everybody here is good people. I promise.”

  I was speaking the truth. However, I knew she’d been to hell and back in the last year or so. With her ex having a high-profile father who tried to downplay his son’s assault on Shay, it had been splashed all over the local and state news. The story had dragged on after her ex killed two people when he slammed into their car while driving drunk. The whole thing had been rehashed. While victims of sexual assault had their name protected in the news, that wasn’t the case with straight-up assault. Again and again, Shay’s name had popped up. I beat back the fury rising inside. I’d have loved fifteen minutes alone in a room with her ex. He wouldn’t walk out after I was done.

  Shay’s mouth twisted to the side as she chewed on the corner of her lip. “Oh, okay.”

  “Is there something else I should know?” I asked.

  Her eyes met mine. “No, no,” she replied with a little shake of her head.

  “All right then, come on in.”

  When we reached the doorway, I reflexively placed my hand on her lower back as I held the door for her, stepping inside with her. Although I knew without a doubt she had nothing to fear here, a sense of protectiveness cloaked itself around me. There were gaping holes in the details of what I knew about Shay and her ex, and that only made me feel more protective. Underneath the steel and sunshine that defined her, I sensed a hint of vulnerability that hadn’t been there before.

  Chapter Six

  Shay

  With the heat of Jackson’s palm on my back filtering through the thin cotton of my blouse, I was far too aware of his touch. My body practically spun like a top around him. I still hadn’t fully recovered from this morning’s accidental striptease in the hallway. I had several chats with myself, trying to talk my body into the fact that Jackson was just Jackson. I was hyperaware of his nearness and his touch. I hadn’t experienced anything even remotely resembling desire in so long, I’d forgotten what it felt like.

  My stern conversations with my body appeared to be all for naught. Because all I knew was I didn’t want his hand to drop away from me, and I was disappointed when it did. A flash of longing pierced me.

  “Hi, Shay!” a woman called as we stepped into a massive kitchen. It was clearly a working kitchen with a stainless steel table running through the center of the room, two double wide refrigerators against the back wall, along with two stainless steel sinks, and a giant oven and stove.

  The woman in question dusted her hands on her apron and paused by one of the sinks to rinse her hands. She had wild, curly brown hair pulled into a ponytail high on her head. After she dried her hands, she hurried across the room and threw her arms around me. I reflexively hugged her back, unable to resist smiling as she stepped away. Her creamy skin was dusted with freckles and her green eyes were wide, crinkling at the corners with her smile.

  “Um, hi,” I said, uncertain what her name was.

  “This is Dani,” Jackson offered from my side.

  “Nice to meet you, Dani,” I added.

  “We love having new people join us here,” she said, her enthusiasm infectious. “Everyone’s on their way for lunch and half of them already beat you here.” She cast an accusing glare in Jackson’s direction. “You’re late.”

  Jackson shrugged nonchalantly. “Lost track of time. Nana brought Emma for her checkup, and we ran a little late.”

  I assumed he was talking about someone’s pet. Just as I was about to ask, another voice called over. I glanced beyond Dani to see a large picnic style table, almost full of people.

  Now, I understood Jackson’s warning outside. Although he obviously knew a bit about the disaster of my life, thanks to my ex’s family’s high profile, he probably didn’t know I was a tad rusty when it came to being social. I’d been isolated in ways I had never expected in the years I was with my ex.

  So, yeah, this could’ve been too much. Yet, despite my body’s haywire reaction to Jackson and feeling like a complete failure at life in general, I wasn’t afraid. Not here. I trusted Jackson completely, so I knew anyone working for him was decent.

  Within a few minutes, I was introduced to everyone and herded to the table. I found myself seated beside Jackson on a long bench seat. The table was crowded enough that every so often his thigh brushed against mine, sending a little jolt of electricity zinging through my body.

  “So, I hear you’re going to help with the rescue animals,” Wade Ellis commented from across the table. Wade had rumpled brown hair, warm brown eyes, and an easygoing manner to him.

  During the round of introductions, I learned he helped out running the outdoor hikes and was also a first responder like Jackson.

  “I sure am,” I replied.

  “Had much experience with horses?” the man beside Wade asked. I thought his name was Lucas. With his almost black hair and deep green eyes, he was quite handsome. Handsome enough that I tried to will my body to react to him the way I reacted to Jackson, but less than nothing happened.

  “I do, actually. I grew up riding horses. Ash and I were in school together, so I spent a bit of time here back when it was just a farm. It’s been awhile because...” My words started to trail off because I suddenly wondered how much they knew about my too public past. I stumbled ahead. “I’m looking forward to it. I’ve missed being around horses.”

  Dani chimed in. “Hon, it’s not just horses. There’re dogs, cats, chickens, a pig, a mini pig, and some goats. I hope you don’t mind the variety.”

  I shrugged. “Not at all. I love animals. I can’t say I’ve ever dealt with pigs though.”

  Jackson’s laugh rumbled low beside me. “Oh, you’ll like Squeaky. She’s probably the sweetest.”

  “Now, don’t you say Gloria isn’t the sweetest,” Dawson Marsh teased. In the few minutes since I’d been seated, it was quite clear Dawson teased and flirted with anyone and anything. With his amber hair and silvery gray eyes, he had an outdoorsy, surfer vibe.

  Despite how much he flirted, he was so easy to be with, it didn’t set me on edge the way flirting usually did. After too long with an ex who attacked me when any man flirted with me in any way, I was a bit gun-shy.

  “Squeaky and Gloria?” I asked.

  “A giant pig and a mini pig, respectively. Squeaky came with that name,” Jackson explained with a grin. “A little girl who li
ves a few miles down the road found her on the side of the road. So, she came to us as Squeaky and she’s still Squeaky. She, uh, squeaks and she loves people.”

  “Since Jackson left Gloria out, just know she’s the queen around here,” Dawson added with a wink.

  Evie, whose last name I couldn’t recall, chimed in. “Gloria is definitely the queen.” She leaned forward to reach for a roll, brushing her glossy black hair off her shoulder when it slipped forward.

  Jackson rolled his eyes. “Trust me, I know she’s the queen. I fed her pancakes before sunrise today.”

  By the time lunch was over, I felt enveloped in the warm embrace of the friendly group. Ash had told me it was busy here, but I hadn’t quite grasped just how busy. What had once been a farm was transformed into an upscale wilderness adventure lodge, veterinary clinic, and rescue program in one. Suffice it to say, there was a lot to do.

  The work part seemed easy. In fact, all of it seemed easy. Except for my inconvenient response to Jackson. Sitting beside him at lunch with the potent force of his presence right there and the occasional brushes against him, I was hot and bothered all over.

  To my mind’s chagrin and my body’s joy, I proceeded to spend the rest of the day with Jackson. He took me over and introduced me to all the animals in the rescue barn, reviewing their feeding schedules and more. He made sure I had his number in my phone to buzz him at any point if something came up. He left when he got an emergency call for his vet clinic. As he hurried away, he called back, suggesting I grab dinner over at the lodge.

  At loose ends, I walked over and found Dani alone in the kitchen, kneading dough. She looked up with a bright smile when I stepped through the door. “Oh good! Did Jackson send you over for dinner?”

  “He sure did. I hope it’s okay,” I offered as I glanced around.

  “Of course it’s okay. The rest of the crew went into town to Lost Deer,” she said, referring to a longtime local bar in the area. Even though I hadn’t lived in the area for over ten years, it had been a fixture since before I was born. “I’m working late on some baking prep, so I’ve got a small pizza I tossed in the oven. If you want, we can split it.” She paused, her brow furrowing. “You’re not a vegetarian, are you?”

  When I shook my head, she grinned. “Good, because it’s pepperoni.”

  I laughed. “I love pepperoni.”

  In the quiet kitchen, I helped Dani knead the dough and then we sat on stools by the table in the center of the room to enjoy her fresh pepperoni pizza with red wine. I felt like I was truly relaxing for the first time in years.

  It wasn’t that I hadn’t had any friends to turn to after my life spun into disaster, but it has been hard to reach out because everyone knew what happened. It also happened too close to my parents’ unexpected death, when a tornado plowed through the vacation home where they were staying while they slept in the darkness. To say the last few years had been hard didn’t come close to describing just how difficult and painful it had been. The one touchstone in my life was my brother, Remy.

  Yet, like everyone, Remy only knew the outlines of what happened. I didn’t want to burden him with how much I’d endured.

  It was nice to simply relax, enjoy some amazing pizza, and have a few glasses of wine. Dani was cheerful and welcoming. She was also quite nosy.

  As nosy as she was, she was a fan of sharing information too. She readily answered any questions I had about Jackson.

  The wine loosened my reserves, and I gave free rein to my curiosity about Jackson. “Seriously, I can’t figure out why the hell no one has snapped that man up.”

  Dani rolled her eyes. “I know, right? It makes no sense whatsoever. He’s like an older brother to me, so I feel nothing for him. But I know a sexy man when I see one, and Jackson is damn sexy as hell. Honestly, I think he’s got a little thing for you,” she said.

  I almost spit my wine out. “What? I’ve been here a day. Pretty sure Jackson doesn’t have a thing for me.”

  “Oh, I saw the way he looked at you. Plus, Ash said you two kissed once.”

  My cheeks were flaming, so hot I knew it was obvious. Dani’s grin widened. “I see Ash wasn’t making that up.”

  “It was just one kiss. Years ago. Anyway, I don’t know why you think he has a thing for me. Trust me, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t.”

  Dani shrugged. “Whatever. But if you ask me, Jackson could use a little love in his life. Ever since he came back from his time in the military, he hardly smiles.”

  Seeing as I hadn’t spent much time with Jackson in years at this point, I didn’t have much of a gauge to know how he was doing.

  Whatever she saw in my eyes, Dani nodded, her gaze sobering. “He won’t talk about it, but I know he saw some bad stuff. I mean, he was in Special Ops. I knew Jackson when we were little. He was a lot more easygoing then. I’m sure you knew, but practically every man in his family was military, so he voluntarily signed up and went off to Iraq. The only thing I really know is an IED went off and killed two of the guys in his unit. He got hit while he was trying to get them out. It was right at the end of his assignment, so they sent him home. He took a bullet in his side and a few bits of shrapnel from the IED. He hasn’t been the same since he got back.”

  I hadn’t heard any of this from Ash. But then, Ash and I hadn’t talked much in the last few years. She had told me he’d been injured, but not these details. My heart wrenched to think of Jackson going through that.

  “That’s awful,” I finally said.

  Dani nodded. “Yeah, try pointing that out to Jackson. All he’s got to say is he’s alive.”

  What had started out as a teasing conversation had sobered quickly. Dani and I simply looked at each other for a moment before she sighed, blowing a puff of air to move a loose curl out of her eyes. “I didn’t mean to be a downer.”

  “It’s okay. I haven’t seen Jackson in years, certainly not since that happened. I doubt he’ll fill me in, so thank you.”

  Dani nodded and paused to sip her wine. “I like you,” she said, after setting down her empty wineglass.

  “Ditto,” I said as I slipped off the stool, my reply reminding me of Remy. Whenever I told my brother I loved him, that’s what he said.

  I helped Dani clean up and then turned to look at her. “Need anything else before I head back to the house?” I asked.

  “No, but I expect to see you for lunch tomorrow,” she offered with a smile.

  “I’ll be there. Good night,” I called as I turned to leave.

  Chapter Seven

  Shay

  Moonlight cast the landscape in a silvery glow along my short walk back to the farmhouse. Although the days were quite warm in the spring here, I had a jacket on because the air became cool once the sun slipped behind the mountains. I picked up my pace, shivering a little. The lights were glowing from the front hallway and the kitchen in the farmhouse windows as I approached, and I wondered if Jackson was home yet.

  The mere thought of Jackson sent butterflies twirling in my belly. I opened the door quietly to let myself in, pausing to listen in the entryway. I sensed he was here, so I walked down the hallway, following the light into the kitchen.

  As I stepped through the archway, my mouth went dry. Jackson stood at the counter, rinsing dishes and setting them one at a time in the small drying rack beside the sink. He hadn’t bothered with a shirt. Sweet hell, his back was enough to send me into cardiac arrest. Heat rushed through me and my pulse took off like a rocket.

  I simply stood there as he finished rinsing the dishes before he turned the faucet off. I hadn’t even realized I was halfway across the kitchen until he turned around. His skin was burnished gold, the lines of his body defined and hard. I doubted Jackson had ever seen the inside of a gym. Yet, he was more fit than most men who spent hours there. His body was one born of raw, hard work. My eyes caught on a scattering of scars on his side, and I abruptly recalled Dani telling me he’d taken a bullet and been hit with shrapnel. My heart clenched. I
shook my mind off that recollection.

  He rested a hand on the counter, his gaze snagging mine. I couldn’t move. I was frozen in place, caught in the air between us, which was shimmering with heat and electricity.

  “How was dinner?” he asked.

  “It was delicious, actually. Dani made pizza. It was just the two of us. Did you have anything to eat?”

  He nodded. “Threw together a sandwich. Probably not as good as Dani’s pizza though,” he said with a grin.

  My belly somersaulted. I needed to stop staring at his chest, but my eyes kept dropping. It was all too much—too much want, too much need, and too much confusion at the depth of my response to him.

  I’d known Jackson since I was a little girl. I had never felt this way around him. We stood there, staring at each other. Just as I was wondering if I should find a way to gracefully run up the stairs, Jackson pushed away from the counter, taking a few strides and stopping in front of me.

  My lungs seized. My heartbeat stuttered, and then lunged, pounding so hard I could feel it vibrating through every cell in my body. I remembered that one kiss. Vividly. I’d been in college in Chapel Hill. Jackson had come along to visit with Remy for a weekend.

  Back then, Jackson had been young, handsome, and a flirt. Of course, I thought he was cute. Time had honed and tempered him, enhancing and sharpening his qualities—his rough-edged masculinity, his strength, and that lazy sensuality shimmering in his gaze.

  My conversation with Dani flickered in the back of my thoughts, and I wondered if those events had led to the slightly shuttered quality in his eyes now. His gaze wasn’t quite as teasing as it once was. My heart squeezed.