Destined Mate (Catamount Lion Shifters #4) Read online

  “Maybe so, but I know you’ve been through a lot this year. You don’t need me acting like an idiot.” He took a step back. His mouth curled up in a wry smile. “You’re so damn beautiful, it makes it hard.”

  She tried to recall the last time any man had called her beautiful. Callen had largely ignored her the last few years, her self-esteem draining slowly away. He’d never been the most attentive man, but once the newness of their marriage wore off, Callen had carried on his life as if she was a mere afterthought. If he had a priority for their relationship, it was that they kept up the social image of a happy couple. Bitterly, she considered how his actions had torn his social image to shreds after his death. She batted the memories away and met Hayden’s eyes. She couldn’t help her return smile.

  ***

  Shana’s slow smile nearly undid him. He had to yank the reins of his control to keep from kissing her again. Fuck. He was in serious trouble. He’d conveniently forgotten how insanely tempting Shana Ashworth was with her glossy honeyed locks that fell in waves halfway down her back, her smoky silver eyes, and her sensual, full mouth. Adding to the temptation, her body was all lush curves and strength. Hayden had spent his life around mountain lion shifters. Female shifters were renowned for their beauty. Shana took it to another level, primarily due to her natural sultry manner and complete obliviousness to how delectable she was. He recalled meeting her in Montana and being relieved he’d been seated at a table. He respected her brother and knew she’d been through a lot, so it absolutely wasn’t okay for him to be battling a hard on every time he got near her.

  When she mentioned where she lived, the wheels in his brain started spinning. Dane had said Hayden was welcome to stay in the guesthouse. Dane couldn’t have meant for him to stay with Shana. Hayden was ashamed to admit the idea took his mind down the paths of some wild fantasies. The kiss just now had set him on fire inside. But he couldn’t go there.

  Hayden came to Catamount to see if he could find a chink in the armor around the shifter smuggling network in Montana, not to get caught up in fantasies about Shana Ashworth. He glanced back at her, and her smoky eyes nearly shredded his control. He took a breath and another step back.

  Shana’s eyes broke from his and she started to climb out of the car. Her breath hissed, her face barely tightening, when he recalled there was a reason he’d ended up with her in his arms. She was hurt.

  He moved swiftly, carefully sliding his arm around her. She went stiff, but she didn’t shove him away.

  “Let’s take it slow,” he said.

  He felt the deep breath she took. Glancing down, her expression was controlled. She nodded quickly.

  “Right. Slow seems to be the way to go. I didn’t realize how hard I landed.” Her voice was husky and sounded surprised.

  Though Hayden couldn’t say he knew her well, he sensed her to be a woman who rarely showed weakness. Her brother had intimated as much when he talked about his worries about the effect of her husband’s death and the trail of misdeeds he left behind for her to clean up. Hayden wanted to know her, wanted to peel back the brittle layers around her, and find the woman he sensed underneath. Which was insane.

  They made it inside the guesthouse. Shana limped inside. He had to force himself to ease his grip on her. His body didn’t want to move away. He wanted to pull her close again for another kiss. When she turned to face him, lust jolted through him. He held still, trying to force his body under control.

  Her silver eyes met his, the corner of her mouth kicked up. “I didn’t think I needed a ride, but obviously I did. Thank you.”

  “No problem.”

  “How long will you be visiting?”

  He shrugged. “Not too sure. At least a week or more.”

  She nodded, her eyes thoughtful. “Well, I’m sure I’ll see you again. I’m supposed to have dinner with Dane and Chloe tonight. Where are you staying?”

  A flicker of heat flashed through him. The mere thought he might end up staying anywhere near her set his pulse racing. “Not so sure. Dane actually mentioned staying at the guesthouse, but I’m assuming he means another one.”

  She flushed and bit her lip. Holy hell. She needed to not do that. It brought his focus right to her lips and nothing else. Now he knew what they felt like under his, well that wasn’t particularly helpful for getting his body to cool down.

  She shrugged and rolled her eyes. “He probably meant here. Dane, uh, well he conveniently forgets to mention some things to me, especially if they have anything to do with my late husband. We never would have met you if it hadn’t been for everything Callen set in motion, so Dane was probably worried about telling me you’d be here.”

  Hayden’s heart tightened. He didn’t know what to say, but he knew it must be painful for Shana to come to terms with the man her husband had been.

  She saved him from having to formulate a reply. “It’s fine for you to stay here. There’s plenty of space. There’s a separate apartment on the other side. Why don’t you go on over to Dane’s and check in with him? I’ll probably see you tonight at dinner.”

  Moments later, Hayden pulled to a stop in front of a lovely old farmhouse another few minutes down the road. His brain was fuzzed from his encounter with Shana. He grabbed a water bottle and splashed the cold water on his face, the activity jolting his brain off of Shana. He wiped his face with a towel and climbed out of the car. Somehow, he had to get his focus on why he was here. Though if Dane truly intended for him to stay in the guesthouse, even in a separate apartment, his will was about to be tested to the max.

  Chapter 2

  Shana stared at her reflection in the mirror. The face looking back at her appeared weary, or perhaps that was her interpretation because that’s how she felt most of the time lately. Before Callen died, her life hadn’t been amazing, but it had been stable and predictable. Well, as stable and predictable as life for a mountain lion shifter could be. She’d been born and raised in Catamount, the town founded centuries ago by her family and a few other shifter families. Catamount was mid-sized and bustling now, busy spring through fall with tourists trekking up to Maine for a taste of “The Way Life Should Be,” the official state motto. The Appalachian Trail meandered its way through Catamount, so the town was host to many hikers and others. Though Maine relished its reputation for having protected its wilderness better than many eastern states, it made money hand over fist with tourists. Catamount catered to them with high end shopping, arts, and plenty of restaurants. The only thing they didn’t have was their own ski lodge, although there was one in a neighboring town.

  Little did those tourists know they were surrounded by mountain lion shifters. Shana had grown up steeped in the lore of her family and absorbed the belief she would marry another shifter. When Callen Peyton started flirting with her in college, he seemed exactly the shifter she was expected to marry. He came from another founding family and was handsome and popular. Though Shana didn’t feel too much of a spark with him, he was attentive and charming at first. She couldn’t quite come up with a reason not to marry him, so she did. At thirty-one years old now, looking back on their marriage through the knowledge of the man Callen really was, she saw what she couldn’t see then—a young woman uncertain of her place in the world who wanted to please her family. If only she’d had the courage to say she wasn’t ready.

  By the time Callen died, Shana had given up thinking she could find a way to make their marriage better. They hadn’t been intimate in almost two years. She knew he had casual dalliances with women on his many trips out of town because he didn’t bother to hide them from her. He was careful never to have affairs with anyone local because image mattered to him, and he wanted to keep up the image that they were happily married. She had been working on building the courage to tell her friends just what the truth was when he died. Only then had she learned how little she knew about his life.

  With a sigh, Shana turned away from the mirror. She’d had just about enough of in
trospection lately. Walking through the bedroom, she grabbed a scarf off her dresser and slung it across her shoulders. After Hayden had dropped her off this morning, she’d called Dane. He hedged and acted as if he’d ‘forgotten’ to tell her Hayden was visiting.

  She mentally armored herself and headed out the door to dinner. After a hot shower, the pain had eased in her hip enough she could walk with only a slight limp. Her body was taut with anticipation at seeing Hayden again, while her mind swung wildly between self-doubt and recrimination. She didn’t know when there was a ‘right’ time to be open to anything resembling a relationship, casual or more, after one’s husband died. Were there rules for this and were they different if your husband hadn’t touched you in years and any semblance of love had been long gone?

  ***

  Hayden leaned back in his chair, carefully keeping his eyes from landing for too long on Shana. He’d spent the day with Dane and Jake, mostly reviewing what they’d learned over the course of their investigation in Catamount. Dane planned to take him to the police station tomorrow. In the meantime, Dane and Chloe insisted on inviting him for dinner. Shana joined them, and Hayden became deeply aware of how weak his control was when it came to her. All she had to do was sit across the table from him, and his body hummed to life.

  Chloe turned to Hayden with a smile. “So Hayden, when does the snow melt in Montana?”

  Hayden shrugged. “Sometime between April and June.”

  Chloe grinned. “That’s about the same answer you’ll get around here. This is my first spring in Maine, so I feel foolish thinking the snow should be gone for good by March. I suppose it’s about the same in most of the northern states.”

  Chloe was lovely with golden hair and forest green eyes, yet Hayden felt absolutely no spark with her. Which was good because Dane would probably tear his throat out if he did. Hayden only considered Chloe in contrast to the effect Shana had on him. After dropping her off this morning, she’d sauntered through his thoughts here and there throughout the day, but he’d mostly convinced himself his reaction to her was overblown. Then, she’d walked into her brother’s house for dinner. It was as if a match lit the air between them, a flame licking its way across the room.

  Hayden chanced a look in her direction. She swirled a glass of wine in her hand, the deep red of the wine matching the scarf draped across her shoulders. Her hair glinted under the lights. Her silver eyes tilted up to meet his. Lust tightened inside. She swung her gaze to Chloe with a smile.

  “Spring may come late up north, but it’s that much sweeter for the wait,” Shana said.

  Chloe angled her head to the side. “I suppose so. I almost did cartwheels the other day when I saw the daffodils blooming.”

  Dane slid his arm across her shoulder and leaned over to drop a lingering kiss on Chloe’s cheek. “I told Chloe we’d have to bring the old greenhouse back to life,” he said, his eyes catching Shana’s.

  Shana smiled softly in reply, her gaze wistful. “Have you used it at all since Mom passed away?”

  Dane shook his head. “Nope. Kept meaning to get around to it, but gardening was never my thing.”

  Chloe grinned up at him. “I’ve already made plans for next year.” She glanced at Hayden and stood. “You must be tired after that long flight.” She turned back to Dane as she circled the table, gathering plates and silverware. “Did you get the extra apartment ready for Hayden over at the guesthouse?”

  Dane shrugged. “Nothing to get ready.” He turned to Shana. “Would you mind showing Hayden the guest apartment over there?”

  Shana nodded, her expression controlled and unreadable. Hayden had purposefully steered clear of asking Dane outright if he’d be staying in the same guesthouse where Shana was. Though it appeared he’d be in a separate apartment, his body kicked up a notch from its state of high idle at the mere thought of being in proximity to Shana. He must have blanked out how flat-out sexy Shana was before he’d planned this trip. His mind had been solely focused on the ongoing investigation into the shifter smuggling network in Bozeman, Montana. He’d been relieved to learn Catamount had taken down Wallace Peyton and his cohort. Hayden still didn’t think the source of the network was in Bozeman, but it was wreaking havoc among shifters in the area. Factions were drawing lines within the shifter community. Some shifters had even fallen prey to addiction while others gloried in the quick influx of cash. Hayden hoped he’d find a few trails to follow after he had a chance to talk to the shifters here. In the meantime, Shana’s presence was a temptation he hadn’t even considered.

  He needed to get a handle on himself because he didn’t need Dane to pick up on his feelings. Dane was understandably protective of his sister after what she’d been through over the last year. Hayden had been nothing beyond polite with Shana in Dane’s presence, so he could only hope Dane hadn’t noticed anything else. Dane followed Chloe into the kitchen. Hayden took a deep breath and stood to help finish clearing the table. The mundane activity brought his focus away from Shana. By the time she walked into the kitchen a few minutes later, he firmly had the reins on his control.

  ***

  Shana led the way down the granite walkway toward the entrance to the additional guest apartment in the old renovated barn. Hayden followed a few feet behind her. As promised, she was showing him the small apartment where Dane had offered for him to stay. The entrance was on the other side of the barn from where she stayed. Her heart pounded in time with each step she took. Over dinner, she’d come to a decision. The effect Hayden had on her was like nothing she’d ever experienced. She was tired of sticking to the script she thought she should follow—the one that involved her acting only when she thought her choices would be approved by others. That had gotten her nothing but a cold marriage to a man whose lies went far beyond their marriage. Hayden would come and go, so it wouldn’t matter if she had a fling with him. She didn’t know what anyone else might think of her choice, but she didn’t care.

  Since Callen’s death, she felt more trapped than she’d felt when he was alive. Now, she had to carry the burden of his betrayal, in addition to the weight of their failed marriage. By the end of it all, she’d felt like half a woman. She couldn’t recall the last time a man had noticed her until she’d met Hayden out in Montana. She’d thought it was a fluke, perhaps all in her head. Until this morning when she’d kissed Hayden. She had a taste of what it meant to feel something again, and she was determined to have more.

  So she decided she would let herself have something—Hayden specifically. The only question remained was whether he’d allow it. After their kiss, she believed he wanted her, perhaps even as much as she wanted him. But she didn’t know if he’d allow his misguided honor to get in the way.

  She reached the door and quickly turned the key in the lock. Flicking the lights on, she gestured for Hayden to come inside.

  “Here you are,” she said, swinging her arms around the room.

  Hayden took a few steps inside and turned in a circle. Though it was small, the space was lovely. The original plank wood flooring had been finished to a shine. An efficiency kitchen was to one side of the room with the rest living space. A tiny woodstove painted bright red sat in the corner with a couch and matching chairs overflowing with pillows nearby. An alcove at the back held the doors to the bathroom and bedroom. The remaining door led into the area where she was staying. She gave Hayden a tour in less than three minutes.

  When they stepped back into the central area, Shana shivered. She glanced to the woodstove. “We need to get you some wood in here. Let me check to see if the propane stove works. Dane may have forgotten to check on that.”

  She fiddled with the controls on the small propane heater. “I think we’re out of luck.” She glanced up at Hayden who stepped to her side. He proceeded to do just as she’d done and shrug.

  “Suppose I didn’t need to bother seeing as you just did that,” he said with a chuckle.

  “Let’s get you some wood from
my place. I have plenty stacked inside.”

  She stepped a little too quickly, her stiff hip hobbling her for a moment.

  “Easy.” Hayden’s low voice sent shivers through her. His hand curled around her arm, the touch sending ripples of heat outward through her body.

  Her breath caught, but she held still. Much as she wanted him, she wasn’t as brazen as she’d like to be because she hesitated.

  His eyes met hers, banked heat in them. His gaze was like warm brown sugar sliding over her. She forced herself to breathe and nodded towards the door that led into her apartment.

  His eyes swung to the door and back to her, a question in them.

  “Come on. Right through here.” She broke free from his soft grasp and stepped to the door. Another turn of the key, and they walked into her apartment. Warmth seeped through her. The chilly air outside was cold enough to leave a spring frost on the ground. Flicking on a few lamps, she made her way to the far side of the apartment by the entryway where she kept wood stacked in a rack by the door.

  Suddenly, she stopped and whirled around, almost colliding with Hayden who was right behind her. Her heart battered against her ribs. She focused on the flicker of heat Hayden had set to life inside of her. It made her remember she had the capacity to feel passion, to feel anything, again. She gathered the tattered remnants her courage and met his eyes. He was a tall man, his presence strong and almost hulking. His tawny gaze held hers. When she couldn’t find words, she followed her body’s lead.

  Only inches separated them. She closed the gap and slid her palm up his chest, savoring the flex of his muscles under her touch. His heart beat strong and sure as she coasted over it. His breath hissed between his teeth when she stroked up his neck and threaded her fingers in his hair.

  Hayden opened his mouth to say something, and Shana tugged him down to meet her lips. The initial point of contact sent a jolt of sensation streaking through her. His muscles flexed under her hands and then he moved swiftly, stroking a hand up into her hair and the other sliding around her waist to tug her against him. She gasped at the feel of him. His tongue dove inside. Their kiss went wild. He stroked deeply into her mouth before gentling his touch, tracing her with his tongue and nipping at her bottom lip before diving in again. She’d meant to take control and found herself awash in waves of longing, drugged by his overpowering presence and the feel of him against her. His arousal was hard against her hip.