Crazy For You (Last Frontier Lodge Novels Book 8) Page 16

  Sawyer couldn’t help but laugh as he stood from the table and followed Garrett upstairs to one of the spare bedrooms. He’d stayed in this very room once when he was home on leave. The guest bed was gone and a stack of boxes sat in the middle of the room. Within minutes, they’d unboxed the kit. As Sawyer helped Garrett, who clearly didn’t need his help, assemble the drums, he couldn’t help but marvel at how thoroughly Garrett had thrown himself into the life of a father and husband. For a man whose entire life had once revolved almost exclusively around his corporate law career, it was a marked change. Yet, it was obvious Garrett was far happier than he’d been before.

  Sawyer left not much later with Violet on his brain and determined to talk to her soon. He was done waiting.

  Chapter 18

  “You can come next week?” Violet asked, her phone tucked between her chin and shoulder as tossed an empty box in the recycling bin under the sink.

  “Is that too soon?” her mother asked in return.

  “No, I’ll have to rush a bit to get things lined out at work, but it should be fine.”

  “Oh good. I was worried, but your father said the price for the plane tickets is only good until midnight. We’ll have a whole week there!”

  Violet adjusted the burner under the pasta, which was at a rolling boil, and turned to walk to the windows. “It’ll be great to see you, Mom. Anything in particular you want to do while you’re here?”

  One thing she loved about her parents was they were easy visitors. They preferred to stay in a hotel, which freed her from having to worry about hosting them and keeping her small apartment tidy at the same time. They also tended to go off on their own. She enjoyed spending time with them and certainly didn’t mind if she needed to plan their entire week, yet that’s not how they traveled. In the year plus since she’d moved to Diamond Creek, they’d visited twice last summer and again over the winter. At the moment, she was relieved to have something to take her mind off the ache in her chest ever since she’d broken things off with Sawyer. A visit from her parents would at least keep her occupied.

  “Oh don’t worry about planning for us. We definitely want to go fishing this year since we never went last year. Other than that, we just want to see you, hon.”

  “I’ll make some calls and get a charter scheduled for us. Okay?”

  “You don’t need to do that. I’m sure we can figure it out when we get there.”

  “Mom, did you forget how many tourists are here this time of year? I’m hopeful, but everything might be booked up already. Let me see what I can do. If you can’t get a hotel room booked, you’re welcome to stay here.”

  “Oh hon. We’ll find something. Stop worrying.”

  Violet almost laughed. Her mother, who’d majored in worrying after Violet was diagnosed with leukemia, was telling her not to worry. “Okay, I’ll stop worrying as long as you promise to let me know if you can’t find a hotel with any openings. Try Midnight Sun Lodges. That place is huge. You take care of that, and I’ll book the charter. Okay?”

  “Deal. I need to hop online and take care of our reservations. I’ll text you with the details. Love you!”

  “Love…” Violet realized she was talking to no one. She slipped her phone into her pocket and stared out the windows. It was late evening, the sun just now sliding down the sky. Boats dotted the bay as they made their way into Otter Cove Harbor. An eagle sat sentry on the street sign at the corner nearby. Sawyer came to mind…again. For days, she’d been rubbing thoughts about him like stones in her mind, wondering what to do and if she’d made a huge mistake. She was torn about wanting to throw every reservation into the wind and call him and tell him she’d been an idiot. Every time she was tempted, she recalled the way he looked holding little Holly.

  She thought she’d done a better job of moving past what happened with Ted than she actually had. She found it nearly impossible to let herself risk another broken heart. A tiny voice inside kept reminding her Sawyer had said adoption was an option. Every time she heard that, her more rational side stepped in and pointed out he was speaking in hypotheticals, not personally. Her heart gave a squeeze, and she shied away from dwelling on it. She couldn’t, or she’d drive herself crazy.

  She gave her head a shake and spun back to check on the pasta. Another dinner by herself. A perfectly common occurrence in her life. Usually, she’d be looking forward to the simple dish of pasta with olive oil, tomatoes, basil and fresh mozzarella. Instead, the internal disquiet she couldn’t seem to quell made her feel restless and out of sorts. She wished Sawyer were here. That itself seemed silly because it wasn’t like they had an established relationship. Yet, every time she thought of him, her heart gave a hard kick, almost as if to tell her something.

  A few minutes later, she curled up on the couch and nibbled on her food. She’d determined she would call Sawyer tomorrow. Not because she planned to talk to him about, well, them, but because she needed his help. She hadn’t had the heart to tell her mother there was no way in hell there’d be any charters available to book on such short notice. It was even less likely there’d be a hotel room available anywhere in town. Diamond Creek might be on the small side, but its tourist industry was massive. Hotels booked out over six months in advance before summer. She figured Sawyer might be able to help with that. A small corner of her mind whispered that instead of looking for an excuse to call him, maybe she should stare down what she was so afraid of.

  The following morning, she hurried to work. She was relieved to be busy enough that she didn’t zone out over fantasies of Sawyer. She hated admitting it, but that’s what she did with half of her spare time. Between heated fantasies and internal battles with herself about Sawyer, it was mentally exhausting unless she was occupied. Thank goodness her job offered that most of the time. She made sure to check with her supervisor about taking time off and was thankful for the thousandth time she had an understanding supervisor who generally supported what she needed as long as she took care of things on her end.

  She zapped off a text to Sawyer as she wolfed down lunch from the cafeteria and immediately moved onto her afternoon schedule. She was finishing up for the day when there was a knock at her office door. Figuring it was a co-worker, she called out for whomever it was to come in. Busy entering notes, she didn’t look up when the door opened.

  “Hey Vi.”

  Sawyer’s gruff voice sent a ripple through her. Why, oh why did everything about him have to be so damn sexy? Her pulse took off at a fast gallop and heat suffused her. He’d called her Vi a few times the other night, moments when they were, um, otherwise occupied. She bit her lip and tried to gather herself before tapping save and spinning in her chair.

  Sawyer stood there, his brown hair mussed, his dreamy gray eyes locked on her, and his body, oh sweet hell, his body—every muscled inch of it making her mouth water. His faded jeans hugged his legs and his black t-shirt pulled tight across his sculpted chest. Seriously, it was ridiculous the effect he had on her.

  After a few beats of quiet, with her heart pounding so hard she worried he could hear it, he spoke. “Marley said your parents are all set for a room at the lodge, and Eli said he had a cancellation on a trip next week. He’ll hold it for them.”

  She swallowed. He just had to go and be nice on top of it all. She knew he must think she was half crazy by this point. “Thank you. Really.”

  He shrugged. “No need to thank me. You can thank Marley and Eli.”

  “I will. I can’t believe the lodge wasn’t booked. When my mom told me they were coming next week, she was crazy enough to think they’d find a room. I let her try, but she called first thing this morning and said they’d had no luck. I think she said they even called Last Frontier Lodge.” She forced herself to stay on topic even though her heart felt like it was about to crack open.

  Sawyer shrugged, but he didn’t add anything. His silence only set her pulse to a faster beat. “Sawyer, I… Ugh,” she said, annoyed with herself for flailing about like th
is. “I hope you don’t think I was only calling because I needed a little help. I, uh… Well, I know I kind of dumped some heavy stuff on you. I didn’t expect anything like this. Because, well, because after I found out I couldn’t get pregnant and my engagement fell apart, I kind of decided relationships weren’t worth the trouble. And I was okay with that. I really was. I’m not one of those women who thinks love is the end all be all. I like my independence. I didn’t really think much about any of it until, well, until you.”

  She paused and looked over at him. What the hell are you doing?! She screamed at herself. You weren’t supposed to get into this again. Shut up, shut up. Once she’d started talking, the ball of tension in her chest started to loosen and she couldn’t seem stop the words from pouring out. She’d said way more than she intended though.

  His eyes held hers, but she didn’t know how to read his expression. After a moment, he cleared his throat. “Okay.”

  When that was all he said, her stomach started to churn, and doubts crowded her mind. She shouldn’t have said anything. She’d gone too far and made it seem like there was more to this than there was. She abruptly realized she’d started twisting the end of her ponytail in her hand and dropped her hand to her lap, fighting the urge to fidget. “Okay. Um, I guess I got ahead of myself again.” She forced herself to look away, staring at a small photo taped to the back of her counter—a photo of two ladybugs nestled into a leaf. She couldn’t say why, but it invariably made her smile, so she kept it there to look at on long days. Right now, it didn’t work. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth and tried to think of what to say next.

  “Vi,” Sawyer said, his voice low.

  She glanced back to him and saw him stepping inside her office and closing the door. Oh no. Her pulse lunged again. She watched him carefully as he took a few steps and leaned his hips against the counter opposite her. His eyes searched hers, making her want to blink and turn away. But, dammit, she wasn’t a coward, so she forced herself to hold his gaze.

  “You didn’t get ahead of yourself. I actually almost stormed over to your place last night to make you talk to me, but then Marley suggested maybe you needed a little breathing room. So…” he paused and smiled ruefully, “I was trying to do that. Look, I didn’t show up in Diamond Creek looking for any kind of relationship. Hell, I didn’t even know how long I’d be here. The last few months of my life have been crazy. Between getting injured, dealing with the first round of my recovery and then waiting until they were ready to take care of this last bit, well I wasn’t thinking about much beyond that. I get the whole unexpected thing. It’s not like I can see into the future, but ever since I decided I was staying here…” His words trailed off, and he shifted his shoulders. “I guess what I’m trying to say is I’d like to give us a shot. I’d like to say I know what I’m doing because, well, I’m that kind of guy. I usually know what I’m doing,” he offered with a low chuckle, sending her belly into a tailspin of flutters. He continued, “…but my life hasn’t offered many chances for anything other than casual relationships here and there. In a roundabout way, you didn’t get ahead of yourself. At least not for me. Much as I’d like to rush you into this because…” He looked straight at her, catching her in his dark, hot gaze. He didn’t need to explain because his eyes did it for her. The air snapped to life, as if jolted by the electricity crackling between them. “Here’s the thing. Not that you’re asking, but kids aren’t a deal breaker for me. I figure you need to know that. Other than that, I’m putting the ball in your court. If you want more, I’m here. Okay?”

  Violet stared at him, her mind and body in an all out battle inside. She could seriously use an off switch in her brain. With an act of sheer will, she ignored the chatter and pulled herself together. How the hell was she supposed to respond to this? The small hopeful voice inside of her that she’d worked so hard to shut up was running around screaming with joy. Kids weren’t a deal breaker for him! The rest of her was stunned into silence and frozen. She was actually annoyed he wasn’t forcing her hand. That would’ve made this all so much easier. But no. He was too damn confident. That was the thing. She’d always been turned off by pushy guys because it illuminated their weakness underneath. Sawyer had to go and be strong enough to tell her she had to come to him on her own terms. Warring with herself, she stood abruptly, her wheeled chair rolling and bumping into the counter behind her.

  “I guess it has to be okay,” she said, the prickly feeling inside notching up when his mouth curled at one corner.

  “It doesn’t have to be okay,” he replied.

  She chewed at her bottom lip and tried to corral the wild feelings coursing through her. She was hot all over, nearly overcome with sudden longing for him, and furious with herself for being such a mess inside. When she glanced up and collided with his gaze again, she spun away and practically stalked to the door. “Okay. I guess I do need some time. I’ll…I’ll call you. Or something,” she said, reaching to open the door, only to feel it slam shut the moment she started to pull it open.

  Sawyer’s palm lay flat against the door. He took another step and rested his other hand against the door, effectively caging her in between the door and his body, every hard, heated inch of it. Her breath caught, and she swallowed against the rush of longing that surged through her.

  “Or this,” he said right before his lips crashed to hers.

  His kiss sent her up in flames. He nudged closer, plastering himself against her, and proceeded to drive her nearly mad with the hottest, deepest, most devouring kiss she’d ever experienced. She was close to collapse and almost melted into a puddle by the time he lifted his head. One more hot look from him, and he stepped back. “I’ll be waiting,” he said when she managed to straighten and push herself away from the door.

  She closed the door behind him and sank into her chair, her entire body shuddering softly. She could feel the moisture between her thighs and shook her head slowly. Dear God. He’d rendered her nearly useless with a single kiss. Just one kiss.

  Chapter 19

  Sawyer walked down the stairs from the back hallway at the lodge into the restaurant kitchen. He’d temporarily relocated to the spare bedroom in Gage and Marley’s quarters. He hadn’t bothered to tell Violet, but the reason her parents had a room at the lodge was because he’d volunteered to give up his suite. Gage regularly kept one suite available for friends and family at all times, no matter how busy the lodge was. With the lodge in its third year of operation, they were booked year-round these days. Sawyer had known it was likely a lost cause for Violet’s parents to find a place anywhere in town on such short notice. Once he spoke to Marley and Gage, they collectively agreed it was the only option. He could also stay with Garrett and Delia, in addition to Jessa and Eli, but what few belongings he had were here, so it was easier to stay in the same place.

  He pushed through the swinging door into the kitchen and aimed straight for the coffee in the corner, giving Delia a quick wave. Her blond hair was tied up and her apron was covered in flour. He knew she spent most of her morning baking, a fact for which he was incredibly grateful. She made cinnamon rolls to die for, and he was getting downright spoiled having them every day.

  “Morning Sawyer!” Delia called across the kitchen. “Violet’s parents checked in late last night according to Harry.”

  He poured a cup of coffee and walked over to the opposite side of the massive stainless steel table that ran the length of the kitchen. It had been almost four weeks since his surgery, and damn did it feel good to walk without pain. It had only taken two tiny arthroscopic incisions to make the pain go away. He hitched a hip on the table and savored a sip of Delia’s coffee. “Garrett’s right,” he said with a grin.

  “Tell me what Garrett’s right about,” Delia said with a smile as she rolled pastry.

  “You make better coffee than him.”

  She laughed. “Ah. He thinks I’m doing something secret.”

  “Garrett likes to be the best at every
thing, so if he tells himself you’re secretly adding something, he can trick himself into thinking he might be just as good at it if he knew what it was.”

  Delia nudged a hair out of her eyes with her elbow and set the rolling pin to the side before carefully cutting the pastry dough into strips. “True. Anyway, I was thinking we should invite Violet and her parents for some kind of dinner thing while they’re visiting. What do you think?”

  Sawyer’s chest tightened. He wanted to see Violet, but he’d rather have her all to himself. He hadn’t heard a peep from her since their conversation a few days ago with the exception of one text thanking him again for helping find her parents a place to stay. He’d seen her briefly at a baseball game, which he went to watch solely for the purpose of running into her, yet she’d barely said hello. He was torn inside. He was bound and determined he wasn’t going to play his hand too soon. That would make his hand all the weaker. He could wait. He also sensed Violet needed the space. But hell, it was not easy giving it to her. He was thankful he had plenty to keep him busy. When Gage had said he could use the help around the lodge, he’d meant it and then some. There was always something to do. Delia cleared her throat, and he glanced over to her.

  “I’m guessing you don’t know about that dinner, huh?” she asked with a soft smile, her eyes curious.

  She wouldn’t push, and he knew that, which actually made it easier to talk with her. “It’s a great idea. Her parents will be here anyway, so if you let me know when, I’ll call her. I’m sure she’d love it.”

  “Perfect. I’m not manning the kitchen the night after tomorrow, so let’s aim for that. You talk to her, and I’ll round everyone else up.” She paused to spin around and check something in the massive oven behind her. When she turned back, her perceptive blue gaze landed on him. She angled her head to the side and drummed her fingers on the table. “What is the status with you two anyway? I noticed you kind of played it cool at the baseball game the other night.”