Burn So Bad Page 4
Lucy nodded and took a quick swig of her coffee, her purposefully nonchalant air belying the tension coming off of her.
Amelia’s next suggestion made me want to kiss her.
“Why don’t you crash at Levi’s?”
She couldn’t have known how perfect that was.
“Fine with me,” I added, making a distinct effort to keep my tone casual.
“What happened with your landlord anyway?” Amelia asked next when Lucy nearly choked on her coffee.
“Well, you know my lease was up. He wanted to up the rent. Like a lot. I got into an argument with him about it, and then he said he wouldn’t renew the lease. Since I’d blown off dealing with it, I had to leave last night.”
Amelia grinned. “That’s what you get for arguing about it.”
Lucy rolled her eyes.
“Levi’s got plenty of room,” Cade said.
I beat back the urge to tease because I knew if I did, my chances of having Lucy take me up on the offer were substantially less.
Lucy finally nodded, her gaze catching mine. The hint of vulnerability flashing in the depths of her eyes tugged at me. If only because she likely felt cornered by the situation, I purposefully held back and said not much of anything.
Lucy had changed out of her delectable, almost see-through t-shirt and had on a pair of denim overalls atop a fitted t-shirt. She was so fucking gorgeous, and she tried so hard not to be that I loved it.
Conversation moved on with Amelia asking a few questions about the fire the night before and me asking about their latest project.
“Are you working today?” I asked, gesturing to Lucy’s blue brace.
She caught my eyes, her gaze narrowing.
“Of course.”
“I already asked her about that,” Amelia said with a roll of her eyes. “She says she has one perfectly good arm.” She pinned her gaze on Lucy. “Just don’t do anything stupid.”
Lucy took a giant gulp of her coffee and glared at her. “It’s no big deal. It barely hurts today. It’s a bone bruise, nothing more. I just have to wear this brace for a few weeks and that’s it. I can work, and I’m going to work, so don’t argue with me about it.”
“Fine. Just don’t get hurt again,” Amelia retorted.
“We won’t mind rescuing you if you do,” I couldn’t resist adding.
Lucy‘s glare swung to me. “I can’t believe you guys. Are you telling me you wouldn’t be working if you had one of these?”
Cade and I caught each other‘s eyes and then I shrugged ruefully. “Fair enough. I would do light duty.”
“Is that what I call it then?” she asked with the barest hint of a grin.
Damn. Getting Lucy to sort of smile nearly did me in. I played it off with a laugh.
“Something like that. Probably no heights and definitely not putting up those beams you were handling yesterday.”
Amelia shook her head vigorously. “Absolutely not. You shouldn’t have been doing that alone anyway. I’ve already called Max. He’ll help for a little bit today, so we can finish those beams.”
Lucy muttered something under her breath and took another gulp of her coffee. My cell phone buzzed, and I slipped it out of my pocket. Glancing down, I saw it was a text from Maisie, our dispatcher, ordering us to the station to respond to a non-emergency call.
“We need to get to the station,” I said catching Cade’s eyes.
Lucy and Amelia followed us outside. When Amelia stepped to Cade to kiss him goodbye, it was a the-rest-of-us-should-look-away kiss, so I glanced to Lucy.
“Are you going to need a ride to my place tonight?” I asked.
Her gaze looked downright mutinous.
“Actually, I need to pick up my truck. If you don’t mind picking me up at our building site and dropping me off with my truck, that would be great,” she said, her tone controlled. “I’ll make some calls today and see if I can find a place, so I might not even need to crash at yours again.”
I simply smiled and nodded, knowing damn well her chances of that would be slim this time of year. It was at the height of summer and everything was filled to the brim. I watched as she walked away with Amelia, wondering if I would manage to break through her defenses sometime in the near future.
Chapter Six
Lucy
I spent the day feeling cranky. I didn’t like the fact I couldn’t work at full force. I didn’t like the fact I didn’t have a place to stay. I fucking hated that I got cornered into saying yes to crashing at Levi’s again. While Amelia and Max were busy dealing with the beams, I spent at least an hour calling everywhere I could think of to scout up a rental. Even Janet didn’t have an extra room at the B&B she owned beside Firehouse Café.
Absolutely no luck on finding a way to wiggle out of staying at Levi’s. If I was sensible, I’d be relieved he offered. But I wasn’t. He made me feel funny and made me think about things I hadn’t thought about in years. Worst of all, he made me wish I wasn’t lugging so much emotional baggage inside.
After reluctantly accepting it wasn’t likely I was going to find a new place to rent on short notice, I got back to work. My attitude still sucked. I was annoyed with my sore wrist and annoyed with my life. After Amelia and Max got all the beams in place and climbed down from the scaffolding, Amelia strode over to lean against a sawhorse nearby as she guzzled some water. I’d been working on cutting hardwood flooring with the miter saw, something I could manage with my injured wrist. She took her work gloves off, slapping them on her jeans to knock the dust loose.
“Little early for that, don’t you think?” she asked.
I glanced her way as I carefully made another cut. “I figure I might as well get done what I can. This way, we’ll be ahead of the game once I’m back at it,” I offered with a shrug. “We have dry storage on site, so it should be fine.”
Max Richards strolled over, dragging his sleeve across his face and wiping the sweat off his brow. It was mid summer in Alaska, the only time of the year that anything resembling hot weather happened. He glanced my way, flashing a grin.
“I’m guessing you’ll be relieved when your wrist is better. What happened anyway?” he asked.
Amelia didn’t even bother to keep from rolling her eyes. “You know Lucy. She shouldn’t have been up there trying to put the beams up herself, but she decided to try it. I went to town to pick up some extra lumber and got back to find her already up there. Lesson learned,” she said bluntly.
I threw a glare at her, but I couldn’t help but smile. I had known better, but I’d been impatient. “Yeah, lesson learned. The doctor said I didn’t break it, but bruised the bone. I should be good as new in a few weeks,” I offered.
Max chuckled. “Well, glad you didn’t do more than that. I need to get going, so I’ll catch you two later. Call me if you need an extra hand again.”
Amelia threw a smile his way as he turned away with a wave. Max usually handled all of our excavation work on projects. He was a good guy and easy to work with. As annoyed as I was that we needed his help for this, I was glad for our sake he was around. Without his help today, our project would’ve been substantially delayed.
Amelia strode to our work truck after she drained her water bottle and returned with two more bottles of water. She tossed one my way, and I caught it with my good hand. Turning, I set my last piece of cut wood down and leaned my hips against the miter saw stand.
We stood in the quiet for a few minutes. I scanned the building site. It was a lovely lot on the outskirts of Willow Brook, nestled into the forest with spruce, cottonwood and birch surrounding the lot. The trees opened up beside a marshy field, offering a view of the mountains in the distance. A raven called with a magpie chattering in reply.
“How’s your wrist feeling anyway?” Amelia asked.
“Fine actually. I was in a little pain this morning, but ibuprofen did the trick. It’s going to annoy the shit out of me though,” I offered with a little laugh.
She threw a
wry smile my way. “Oh I’m sure it will. I might tease you about it, but I would be the same way. Any luck finding a rental?”
I took a swallow of my water and glanced up at the sky. It was bright and sunny today, wispy clouds scudding across the blue sky.
“Nope, but I should’ve known. It might be close to fall, but it’s still busy. Anybody that has a place available is busy making money hand over fist.”
“So true. I can ask Cade’s parents if you can stay there too. I realized after the fact you might not appreciate us saying you should crash at Levi’s. He’s a good guy, but I know he…”
Instantly, I got defensive. Amelia was my best friend, but I wasn’t about to look like a chicken in front of her. Levi was a good friend of hers and Cade’s and, well, of anyone and everyone I happened to be friends with in town. It would be weird if I got all uptight and refused to accept a friendly offer.
“No problem,” I said quickly. “Levi offered, and there’s no reason I can’t stay there.”
Oblivious to the fact I’d stayed there last night and he’d seen me in my underwear this morning, she continued, “He’s actually got more room than we do anyway. I’m sure he’ll let you stay as long as you need,” she offered.
“Yeah, if he doesn’t drive me crazy,” I added, unable to resist that comment.
She rolled her eyes. “Levi’s a good guy. He’s just a flirt.”
I knew that to be the case. What I didn’t know was what the hell to do about the fact he made me hot inside and out and half-crazed in my brain.
* * *
Three days passed while I was staying at Levi’s. Three days while his mere existence was driving me insane. I woke on day three, my skin flushed and a sheen of sweat covering me. I’d had another heated dream about Levi. It was the third night in a row when my body and my subconscious were betraying me in the worst possible way. My mind spun back to the memory of my dream.
Levi’s lips on my skin, the scrape of his stubble on my neck and then down over my breast as his lips closed around a nipple. His muscled body pressed against mine. His cock, hard and throbbing between my thighs, sliding through my wet folds. I cried out…
Oh. My. God. I woke up crying out Levi’s name. I shifted my legs restlessly under the sheet. I could feel the damp heat between my thighs, my core slick with need for him. In my sleep addled mind, I wasn’t thinking clearly, or at all. Before I knew it, my fingers were dipping into the wet heat at my core. I was so horny. I hadn’t been this way in… Hell, I’d never been this way. I was drenched, and I needed relief. I stroked through my folds, my skin flushed from my need and from my embarrassment at wanting Levi this much. He had invaded my dreams and was taking over all of my thoughts.
I buried my fingers in my channel, my sex clenching around them. This wasn’t enough. I wanted what my dream gave me—Levi’s cock buried inside of me. In my dreams, I knew what it felt like to be filled by him. My breath came in little bursts as I teased myself. I drew my soaking wet fingers out, sliding them back and forth over my clit, a swollen button of need. My orgasm was right there on the edge. On a burst of pleasure, I buried my fingers inside my channel again. My sex clamped down around them as my release washed over me, sharp, abrupt and intense.
I lay still, my breath coming in little pants. This was insane. I’d had an orgasm with nothing but Levi in my mind, and my fingers were sticky from my juices. I wanted to roll out of bed, walk straight into his bedroom and make my dream a reality. Last night’s dream involved me riding him, his fingers digging into my hips as his cock filled me. My channel pulsed around my fingers again. I slowly withdrew them, rolling onto my side and trying to get a grip on myself.
I was in a conundrum. I’d had no luck finding a place to stay yet. I was in the awkward position of desperately wanting Levi and needing to get the hell away from him. Without somewhere to be, I didn’t have a good excuse to leave. I was in the awkward position of Levi being a shared friend in the small social world of Willow Brook. Aside from staying with him, I didn’t have any options except to break down and call my mother. Which absolutely wasn’t an option. The moment that thought crossed my mind, I wanted to burst into tears.
I threw the covers off and strode quickly out of the room towards the bathroom. Ever since the first morning when I’d furtively tried to go to the bathroom without Levi noticing, I’d been very good about remembering to get dressed before I left the guest bedroom. This morning, I wasn’t thinking. Hell, who could blame me? I’d just climaxed all over my own hand fantasizing about Levi. I could feel the moisture between my thighs as I walked to the bathroom. Before I reached it, yet too far away to dash back to my bedroom, Levi’s bedroom door opened.
I froze. He scrubbed his hand through his messy hair and glanced up, his gorgeous blue eyes widening when he saw me. His chest was bare—his dangerously sexy chest that made my mouth water—and he wore cut off sweatpants that hung low on his hips. They weren’t loose enough to hide his arousal. If only he knew how wet I was. His eyes locked to mine. We stood there for a beat, staring at each other. If he was embarrassed about his obvious arousal, it didn’t show.
“Morning Lucy,” he said with a nod.
His mouth hitched up at the corner as his eyes flicked down. It was as if his gaze was an actual touch. My nipples tightened when I felt the heat of it. I suddenly realized my favorite t-shirt to sleep in was thin and white. There was no doubt my nipples were visible through it. My pussy clenched at the look in his eyes.
“Morning,” I choked out, trying to sound casual but instead sounding hurried and rushed.
Mortified, I dashed into the bathroom, nearly slamming the door shut behind me. Only then did it occur to me he probably needed to use the bathroom. I leaned against the door and tried to catch my breath.
“Do you need the bathroom?” I called out.
Oh my God. I sounded like I was in a panic. Inside I was. My heart was hammering so hard, I felt like it was going to beat its way out of my chest. I was afraid he could hear it from wherever the hell he stood.
“I do, but I’ll go downstairs. No worries,” Levi replied. Right outside the fucking door.
I sagged with relief at the sound of his footsteps retreating from the door. I took several shaky breaths, willing my pulse to slow and my traitorous body to get under control. After a moment, I pushed away from the door, belatedly turning to lock it. Silly and pointless, but a habit I couldn’t break. I knew Levi was polite, no matter how much he teased me before and no matter how much it annoyed me. I knew he wouldn’t barge in while I was in the shower. He just wasn’t that kind of guy. But I locked the door anyway, almost as if to protect myself from my own desire for him.
I paused and looked at myself in the mirror. My cheeks were flushed, my hair was a wild mess and my naughty nipples were taut under the thin cotton of my shirt. I knew Levi had gotten quite a fill of that little view.
Never again. I won’t forget to change before I run to the bathroom again. So fucking stupid.
I rolled my eyes. Dammit. The only reason I was in such a tizzy this morning was because I had another crazy hot sex dream about Levi and masturbated thinking about him. On the heels of several deep breaths, my pulse finally started to slow. I heard the shower turn on in the bathroom directly below this one.
I couldn’t help but envision Levi’s cock outlined by his sweatpants, the soft fabric practically caressing his body—the cock that I desperately wanted inside of me, at least in my dreams.
There’s a reason you can’t think like this.
This voice whispered in the back of my mind. My desire was washed away in a wave of… I don’t know what it was—sadness, regret and shame all balled up together maybe.
I rarely dated. I’d never had a boyfriend. Don’t go thinking I was a prude. I wasn’t a virgin, but the messiness of emotions wasn’t something I could tolerate, so I limited myself to occasional one-night stands and nothing more. Tears pricked at the back of my eyes, and I spun away from the
mirror. Quickly turning on the shower, I gave the water a moment to heat up before climbing in. I let the hot water mingle with my tears as I showered. My mind spun back to a place I didn’t like to think about.
Chapter Seven
Lucy
I was a freshman in high school in San Francisco, California. To this day, I don’t know why we moved there, but we did. It was brutal for me. I’d always been the smallest person in my class. I’d been teased all through elementary school for my size. I was kind of shy, not shy like afraid shy, but more socially shy. My childhood had sucked. To put it bluntly, my dad was an asshole. He wasn’t physically violent too often, but he was emotionally and psychologically abusive to my mother. He berated her constantly, to the point she was almost invisible. She had zero self-esteem and never spoke up for herself.
I was an inconvenient afterthought for my dad. When I was really little, he ignored me, and I thought that was hard. Until I got old enough for him to notice me. Somewhere in middle school, he started treating me just like my mother. I was too smart and that was stupid. Or so he said. Everything was stupid about me, according to him.
I never had any friends because there was no way I was going to bring them home. When I got to high school in the small middle of nowhere town where we lived in California, I managed to make one or two friends. Then, I was ripped out of that little town and plunked down in San Francisco at a hip, big city high school.
It was no surprise to discover I didn’t fit into the new social order. I was still tiny and hadn’t grown into myself at all. I had no curves, none to speak of. You could hardly tell I was a teenager. I didn’t fill out until my junior year. There I was, shy with hardly any friends and with a mad crush on one guy. Floyd Lewis was dreamy and cool and everything I wasn’t. He was a star football player. I told myself he was worthy of a crush because he was smart too.
I blushed every time I even looked at him. I was that socially awkward, and I knew he wouldn’t pay attention to me. My nickname was Shorty, and I was the butt of plenty of jokes. I supposed I was passably pretty, but it seemed near impossible to be objective about myself in hindsight when it came to adolescence. All I knew was it was a socially lonely time and emotionally stressful.